oceans and endlessness

Upon watching happy feet yesterday, I finally felt fulfilled because I was able to watch what I wanted to see. It was so-so. The singing and dancing were cute and I was already able to watch how the penguins lived when we watched a documentary in biology; the same things were showed in the movie. Behind the cuteness and all, my fear was once again realized…

Both in the documentary and the movie, there were scenes were the penguins had to go to the ocean to get food. Whenever there are scenes of oceans and the vastness of it faces me, I don't know why I'm either panic-stricken or fidgety. The darkness of the ocean floor scares me and I can't seem to look at it for a long time. I can't bear watching ocean documentaries, esp. when they feature certain sea creatures like sharks. But I know that it can't be helped to not feature them because they are part of ocean life. I don't like being in the ocean nor seeing the ocean while I am in the water. For some reason, I get tense. There was a scene in the movie where Mumble (not sure of the name haha correct me if im wrong :d) and his Mexican penguin friends accidentally let a construction vehicle thingy (what was the vehicle called?hahaha)drop into the ocean and while the vehicle sank to the bottom of the ocean, Mumble was looking at it. The darkness of the ocean was once again present and that time while watching, I felt like hugging my limbs and not finish the movie. But I fought the urge to do so and continued watching, though I looked away instead of leaving the theater. Yes, I know that concepts about the ocean will be present in the movie but I still watched it. I don't plan to let my fear get the best of me. I don't plan to miss things in life just because of that fear but it still affects me when I see it. I try my best to fight it but I don't know why I just can't seem to overcome it.

And once again, I got startled and screamed while watching yesterday. At least I wasn't the only one who got startled; my bezzie was startled as well and we screamed at the same scene at the same time. Too bad for my galbes because she was in between me and bezzie in the movie house. :D The scene was when Mumble was about to be eaten by a leopard seal and the chase was on between the two of them. The leopard seal reminded me of sharks because of some features that were emphasized in the movie. I just can't watch it without having to look another way when the setting is the ocean! Annoying! The vast and dark endless is the one scaring me. And the thought that it is the ocean and predators are present in the waters gives me the chills. *sigh* When oh when will I overcome you, Endlessness??