a tribute to my friends

my vacation's been a drag. I WANT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL!! i want to think about worthwhile things, and not about stuff that i can't do anything about.


two more days and it's a new year once again. looks like i won't be able to settle everything before the year ends. hey, this is NOT my fault. if you were to ask me, i want to settle everything now. i don't want my problems haunting me come 2007. i want a fresh new start.


yesterday, i was checking out some of the conversations i had with my friends in Yahoo! Messenger back in high school. and i realized I MISS THEM SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!! every single one of them. most esp. those who are near my heart and very dear to me (not that everyone's not dear to me or what,just that some stand out among the rest). when i was going through the messages yesterday, i really felt nostalgic. but in a good way. i'm missing my friends so much. it's been a while since i got to spend time with them THAT WE WERE ALL PRESENT. phew! if only i can make the font size any bigger than what Blogger can do. so they would know and notice this entry, if ever they are reading my blog (haha asa pa ako dun!). anyway, the holiday spirit is still in the air anyway. just little shoutouts to my friends who randomly crossed my mind.


Galbes: miheck im so thankful i met you and that we became close. i remember back in 3rd grade, we were among those who go to school early because we live quite far from school. we always played chinese garter and jumprope early in the morning. you happened to always be the "mother" in the team because you were so good with chinese garter even if the height was taller than you were (hehe), but still you manage to reach it and finish the game. thanks for the patience when we were just starting to be close back in 4th grade. i know you had some rough time with the crew (my doing hehe sowi >.<), but i never knew that you were the one who's going to be my best friend for the rest of my life in Uno (and until now actually hehe). *sigh* irony in life. thanks for sticking out for me and for being HONEST with me back in 5th grade when my so-called "best friend" and i were having problems already that i really had no idea of. thanks for staying by my side back in 6th grade when our friendship was on the rocks. thanks to mary grace's advice, i learned to give you more credit than i was actually giving you. sorry if i gave you a really hard time..hehe thanks for still remaining by my side back in our senior year. even though you were near your limit, still you stayed. and i'm glad you did. i'm probably not going to meet someone like you again who can keep up with my mood and who knows me really well. most importantly, now that i am currently facing the most challenging thing that can happen to me, i'm glad you're here with me. i would not want it any other way. :) now i know how important you are in my life, i plan to take better care of our friendship. no matter what happens, i'm here for you. anytime, anywhere. :)

717: you were the first one who taught me pain. and i'm gald you did. because of it, i learned to be strong about one of life's challenges -- ____. thanks for the time before as well. for the nice chats and text messages. and for the encouraging words you gave me before. see you around campus. ;)

Captain: you have no idea how you touched my life. nyahahaha how dramatic. but seriously, you have no idea. it was a nice feeling getting to know you back in sophomore year. i helped you with our biology class. you always asked for my biology and filipino notes. i remember the time when you, me, and Dogs were discussing something in filipino class and we were laughing that time, even if we were caught by the teacher for we we seated three seats in front of the class. :)) thanks for being a wonderful seatmate, for teaching me in our algebra class, and for copying notes for me in algebra whenever i left my glasses at home. hehe :) thanks for bugging me as well in class, for making me smile whenever i was quiet and for backing off when i'm not in the mood to tolerate your wisecracks. thanks for driving safely when i rode the car you were driving for the first time. i felt safe, thanks. :) i remember telling you in one of our conversations in YM about that, didn't i? thanks for changing my views about jocks in our school. i guess you're smart, though you're quite lazy back in high school. though now in college,i know you're not anymore. :) thanks for touching my life back in senior year. you were one of the people who made it colorful and memorable. though we had some minor setbacks, but we're still good now. you are one of the people who i rant to recently, thanks for that. :)

twins: we have been friends for a long, long time already. we grew up together though we suddenly had a gap back in our high-school years. wonder what happened back then. haha. anyway, i'm glad that before our high-school days ended, we somehow were able to get back the friendship we have. Younger, thanks for the advices you have given me and for helping me get back to reality. ;) Elder, though we don't talk that often i appreciate the things you say to me. i hope this time that now we are in college, there won't be lapses like it did back in high school, ayt?

shrek: we have suddenly turned cold with each other. it's ok. i just hope we'd still be able to patch things up. this is not worth losing our friendship over. i wish we'd be given the chance to mend everything. i'm willing to as long as you are too. good luck with your endeavors now. i'm sorry i can't be there for you. though i'm not sure you need me to. but still, i'm around if ever i can be of help, ayt? :) i miss you, friend.

bezzie's bro: though we don't talk often, i'm glad we were given the chance when we attended the wedding. i never knew we had a common experience in life. i'm really glad we had a chance to talk. though i hope that won't be the first and last. wishing there would be more next times. :D take care of your health, ayt? don't push yourself to the limit. i'm just a text or phone call away if you need someone to talk to. :)

bezzie: thank god we still clung to each other after all these years. haha. though we also had our share of minor setbacks, i'm glad we still were able to work things out. and we're still good. hahaha. i know those setbacks made our friendship stronger and i know we both learned something from them. thanks, bezzie. you're like a sister to me already because we also grew up together. i happened to read some of the letters we used to give each other back in grade school, and the memories made me smile. i hope we'd have the time to look back at them together sometime. :)


drummer: yeah i know i have a lot of shortcomings already. i'm sorry. i'm willing to make up for them anyway. :D at first, i thought i'd be with you guys in UST and we'd get to have lunch together in KFC and have all the gravy we want. hahaha. i'm sorry. i'm really sorry. >.< i miss the times when we have our "pancit canton" snacks in Betchot before we have our tutor with Poch. the times when we would talk over the phone until the wee hours at night. that was the first time i ever slept late just because of talking over the phone. haha. and as if we were making sense of what we're talking about. we're just actually counting the yawns the other makes. and i remember i'm hte one that makes the most. hehe. i really miss you!!! i hope we could hang out again like we did back in high school. btw, is poch still alive? because i haven't heard from him for quite some time.

guybes: thanks for everything. for the memories and moments. i know we're on the rocks. just want you to know i'm not mad. you're still my bes. nothing's going to change that. i hope i made a difference in your life. somehow someway. take care of yourself. i love you.more than you'll ever know. :')

officially christmas

It's officially December 25, 2006 -- Merry Christmas! Happy holidays! Enjoy the yuletide season! Hugs. Lots and lots of it. :)









i don't feel complete. i miss you.so much. so much.so much. :'(

falling leaves

I was listening to a few songs in the playlist in my laptop and I happened to listen to this song -- Falling Leaves by Wickermoss. I found it funny because I like the song since I heard it and now, I can relate to it. Haha. Go figure. :p

Falling Leaves by Wickermoss

My memory of him, brings the pain
The despair of being alone again
In one flash we were up in the air
But he lost his grip and went astray

His images ran here in my mind
Expecting again that he’ll be mine
We met again my feelings were still intact

But he went away, and turned his back
But he went away, and turned his back

Insanity only relieves the pain
Left me like a fool soaked in the rain
A light shone down on me like
Falling leaves

As if to seek ( something for relief)
Something for relief ( something for relief)
As if to seek ( something for relief)
Someone to believe ( someone to believe)

Is this the love I seek through ages
The fantasy I’ve been longing for
He told me it would be for the best
To stay away and leave his mess
And leave his mess ( 3x)

(Repeat I, II)

But he went away, and turned his back
But he went away, and turned his back
But he went away, and turned his back
But he went away, and turned his back

He went away
He went away
He went away
He went away

merry christmas!

Happy Holidays everyone!

Enjoy the season with your love ones! :)

by the way, i miss you to bits! i swear! :(

wait..

arriving at the station, waiting for the train that will take me to my destination. before, i thought that waiting for that train was so tiresome and agitating, but still i keep a positive thought that the train will eventually arrive and take me to where i want to go.

the past few days were fun and yet, i can't seem to take my mind off that moment that i've been waiting for so long. that moment when i am finally given the chance to mend the things that need mending. the things that i have been putting off for so long. i never thought that time was so slow. or is it just me? *sigh*

i never thought that waiting was so hard. waiting for that photo to upload in multiply, waiting for that song to download in limewire, waiting for that train that seems so long whenever you're in a rush, waiting for that long line in the cash register so you can pay your purchase, waiting for that movie you've been dying to see. why does it seem that whenever you wait, time has the tendency to slow down? and whenever you want to relax and if only possible, time will not run out on you, it just will? why can't time be cooperative even once? why do we have to wait for the things we want? why do we have to be patient in life? i'm not going to say that time sucks, but time's making it hard for me. can't you go any faster?

my brain's been idle for the past couple of weeks. after that mind-boggling paper for ENGLRES. now i'm not sure if i ever want to be idle. maybe it's because i can't do anything that will help me keep my mind off that moment i want to happen. i have been successful for the past two years in keeping and surrounding myself with positive things and from keeping my thoughts away from drifting in that area of my life. but i guess the past two years and now had a different time setting when that incident happened. oh well...

i didn't think that i'd miss This Person so much. it's so painful and annoying at the same time. even if there's someone out there that seems to take This Person's place, i seem to be hostile in making room for the New One. because i know in my heart and mind that no one is capable of taking This person's place. i know that no one is able to measure up with what This Person and I had gone through. yes maybe we had, and we still are having some rough moments in our lives but after all that's happened for the past two years, we still managed to survive. is it only now that we are to give up on each other? i don't think that i'll be the first person to give up. i'm very persistent. doesn't look like it, but i am. i just wish This Person hasn't given up yet... but i have no idea of what This Person is thinking anymore nor of what i am in This Person's life. am i still there?

two more days until christmas. still don't feel the spirit. maybe because there are still things in my life that are out there in the dark, hidden, unmended, bruised and unhealed. the wounds are still here, in my heart, in my mind, in my life. time. yes. time's suppose to help me. though im not sure how long i need it...

"bakit ganun pag may sugat ka, pag andyan yung mahal mo, ang bilis gumaling... pero once na ang sugat galing sa mahal mo, sobrang hirap gumaling... kahit pa maraming gustong magpagaling?"

muddled thoughts #1

i noticed that most of my entries do not make sense at all. hehe. for some reason, i have a lot of thoughts to say but sadly, there's too much of it that i can't keep focus of what exactly i want to say. did that make sense? see? hmm... anyway, too much has been bothering me since i don't know when and until now. and it looks like something else has popped into my life that's going to shake my entire life. ugh! can't you stay away for a while? or maybe never show up? don't bother my life. i'm not the one who chose this.i'm not the one who decided to keep living. if i were given the chance to choose,i wouldn't want to live this life. it's too messy and complicated that i just can't seem to understand it. and you made it worse for me. why was i kept alive in the first place? ugh! don't mind my nonsensical ramblings. *sigh* anyway, three more days before christmas. still don't feel the spirit though. sad. is this how it is to have a chirstmas when you're an adult? what a nice feeling *insert sarcasm here*

survey impulse

my friendster survey impluse is kicking in for some reason.haha.been a while since i did it anway.maybe i miss.haha.anyway,some of the surveys i answered --

If I were a month I would be:[*] october sana kaso...
If I were a day of the week I would be:[*] wednesdays. =))
If I were a time of the day I would be:[*] 8am?
If I were a planet I would be:[*] saturn
If I were a sea animal I would be:[*] dolphin! i love :D
If I were a direction I would be:[*] anu ung gitna? :))
If I were a piece of furniture I wouldbe a:[*] bed.a soft comfy bed.
If I were a sin I would be:[*] revenge.?haha
If I were a historical object I wouldbe:[*] an old book. :)
If I were a liquid I would be:[*] h2o dude!
If I were a stone, I would be:[*] diamond.?
If I were a tree, I would be? :[*] mahogany?haha ewan
If I were a bird, I would be:[*] an eagle.
If I were a tool, I would be:[*] a hammer?
If I were a flower/plant, I would be:[*] roses.white roses.
If I were a kind of weather, I wouldbe:[*] winter.
If I were a mythical creature, I wouldbe:[*] dragon or phoenix.
If I were a musical instrument, I wouldbe:[*] guitar,drums,or piano
If i were an animal I would be:[*] dolphin! :D
If I were a color, I would be:[*] BLUE! obvious much? =))
If I were an emotion, I would be:[*] bliss.
If I were a vegetable, I would be:[*] MUSHROOM! :D
If I were a sound, I would be:[*] laughter.
If I were an element, I would be:[*] oxygen.
If I were a car, I would be:[*] ferrari.naks.=))
If I were a song, I would be:[*] anything that speaks the right emotion. :)
If I were a movie, I would be:[*] something that will touch thehearts of all people.
If I were a food, I would be:[*] pancakes?
If I were a place, I would be:[*] beach! :D
If I were a taste, I would be:[*] bittersweet.
If I were a scent, I would be:[*] yung cologne kong type ng type ko dati. =))
If I were a religion, I would be:[*] catholic?
If I were a word, I would be:[*] wisdom?pwede?=))
If I were a body part I would be:[*] eyes.
If I were a facial expression I wouldbe:[*] a smile.?
If I were a subject in school I wouldbe:[*] psychology.haha adik!
If I were a cartoon character I wouldbe:[*] baby taz!!or hello kitty!!
If I were a shape I would be:+ a heart. :)

for more surveys,check your friendster account. =))

I..

I got this from Achi Ken. So answer away! :D

I know – my strengths and weaknesses.
I believe – in my capabilities.
I fought – with the one I love.
I am angered – by people who don’t keep their word.
I love – unconditionally.
I need – to mend the troubles in my life.
I take – a break when I need it.
I hear – the thoughts in my head.
I drink – water and fruit shakes.
I hate – liars.
I use – my laptop to write my thoughts and feelings.
I want – to prove wrong those people who belittled me.
I decided – to forget those people who are not worth my time.
I like – pillows.
I feel – a headache coming up.
I wear – clothes that match my mood.
I left – things undone.
I do – the things that make me feel fulfilled.
I hope – things will turn out all right in the end.
I dream – of a peaceful life.
I drive – myself to strive for the best.
I listen – to the people who cares for me.
I type – my thoughts in my laptop.
I think – that I need to stop thinking.
I need - to do something.
I wish – "it" will be over soon.
I am - me.
I compensate – for my shortcomings.
I regret – hurting the people I love most.
I care – about my love ones.
I should – try something new.
I am not always - what you perceive me to be.
I said – things that should have been left unsaid.
I wonder – what'll happen 10 years from now.
I changed – to be a better person.
I cry – in agony.
I am not – what you think I am.
I lose – my temper when I'm stressed.
I leave – when I need time to think.

final-ly!!!

as of december 15, 2006 at exactly 01:13:06 am, finally. FINALLY!!!!!! we finally finished our ENGLRES paper. Ha!! Tkae that ENGLRES!!! who's laughing now? =)) hay... some of the last few chats before finishing the damn paper..

stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:00:57 AM): ok...
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:03:57 AM): jill i cant think tlga...
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:04:05 AM): nothing's coming into my head
jillan yu(12/15/2006 12:04:25 AM): w8 lng ha
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:13:47 AM): the study is concerned about the media biases that are present in news broadcasting. it aims to make people aware of certain biases that are present in news broadcasting. this study wishes to make people think critically before believing and finally accepting the information and knowledge they are being fed.
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:14:41 AM): steph u stil there?
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:14:51 AM): work with me girl!
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:14:58 AM): it's the last chapter
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:14:59 AM):
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:15:06 AM): lol
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:15:13 AM): im typing the first parag
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:15:20 AM): ayt
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:15:21 AM): to introduce ur line
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:19:18 AM): girl help me out
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:19:27 AM): News broadcasting has been one of the most influential media in today’s society. Its main purpose is to deliver to the masses the news events covered in a certain day and aims to let the people in on what is happening within the country and around the world. News broadcasting has become a world-wide network and has been a big part in the ordinary person’s life. Yet, though it is of great importance to everyday life, the fact that it is susceptible to biases due to different news factors and other hidden agenda makes this
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:19:30 AM): ..
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:19:34 AM): add something to it
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:20:39 AM): through the surveys the researchers conducted and the information they retrieved from different sources, they were able to find out that there are truly biases involved when news are being made and aired.
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:20:44 AM): wait
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:20:45 AM):
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:24:15 AM): makes this unreliable (?),therefore people should learn to develop an attitude of skepticism.
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:24:29 AM): .. ok
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:24:44 AM): any better word for unreliable?
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:24:49 AM): ...
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:24:54 AM): it sounds ok
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:24:54 AM): o ok n un?
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:24:59 AM): haha okok
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:25:04 AM): wt part r w en?
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:25:12 AM): wt part r we n?
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:25:25 AM): finish nb w summary?
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:26:23 AM): ill finish ur paragraph tapos conclusion and recommendations
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:26:34 AM): ayt.il start it n
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:28:53 AM): because people cannot do anything about the criteria that news networks use to determine the news content, society should be the ones to make the initiatie to chage these criteria.
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:29:02 AM): *initiative
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:29:10 AM): *change
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:29:52 AM): ok
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:29:56 AM): anything more?
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:30:12 AM): <--that's for conclusion na ha
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:30:19 AM): eh...
jyu_717 (12/15/2006 12:30:22 AM): yea
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:30:33 AM): this is for conclusion pla...
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:30:33 AM): where did u plce it b?
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:30:37 AM): summaray
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:30:40 AM): hehehe
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:30:41 AM):
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:30:52 AM): i told u il strt w it na db?
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:31:01 AM): right right
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:31:05 AM): c&p
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:31:07 AM): agen
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:31:09 AM): hehe
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:31:56 AM): ok lang ba if our summary is paragraph
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:31:58 AM): ?
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:31:59 AM): one
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:32:03 AM): wait
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:32:05 AM): hahaha labo
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:32:16 AM): ok lang ba if our summary is one paragraph?
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:34:34 AM): yea i thnk so
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:34:35 AM): haha
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:34:42 AM): recommendation
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:34:53 AM): finish na w conclusion???
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:35:03 AM): i used what u said
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:35:24 AM): or do u want me to add some stuff?
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:35:25 AM): yea pero un lng
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:35:27 AM): ?
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:35:41 AM): ms ok if we add mre
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:35:47 AM): cge
jyu_717 (12/15/2006 12:35:52 AM): ang short naman ng conclusion natin
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:36:40 AM): lol
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:36:45 AM): same with the summary
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:36:50 AM): ill add stuff
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:37:29 AM): if people were to think critically about the news that they find newsworthy, then the networks will have to change their criteria in order to have more viewers.
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:40:11 AM): ei girl
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:40:15 AM): waaa
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:40:21 AM): lol sorry
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:40:22 AM): i thought i logd off n e
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:40:41 AM): haha okok
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:40:43 AM): umm
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:40:45 AM):
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:42:46 AM): since news cirteria is susceptible to change to suit the different needs of the people, then the people should be the ones enlightened about what news they should be watching out for in order to be of better help for the welfare of the society
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:42:55 AM): ok nb?
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:43:00 AM): add mre pb?
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:43:12 AM): just a sec...
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:43:13 AM): hw long nb is it?
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:43:19 AM): ayt
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:45:43 AM): should i strt w our recomendation n?
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:45:49 AM): cge
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:49:56 AM): because of lack of time and the limitations of the study, the researchers suggest future researchers that they be aware of what they intend to be the scope of the study.
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:51:17 AM): they should have a wide sense of knowledge in order to make the study more efficient for them and so they could work to their advantage
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:52:52 AM): students who are aware of the biases that are evident in news broadcasting should educate others in order to enlighten the people of what is happening in the soceity.
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:57:35 AM): steph, hw r u doing n there?
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:57:40 AM): stil alive bck ther?
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:58:34 AM): ok
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:58:34 AM): haha done with summary
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:59:08 AM): haha ok
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:59:13 AM): if i put them all together...
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:59:21 AM): we have two pages for chapter 5
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:59:23 AM): ^_^
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:59:26 AM): wheee
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:59:32 AM):
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 12:59:33 AM): do u wana add more sa conclusion or recommendation?
jillan yu (12/15/2006 12:59:52 AM): what i typed is 4d recommendation n
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:00:19 AM): my god the final question!!!
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:00:20 AM): uhuh
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:00:20 AM): c&p na
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:00:20 AM): so?
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:00:20 AM):
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:01:55 AM): c&p???
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:02:03 AM): copy and paste
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:02:15 AM): well, pasted
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:02:43 AM): so u wana add anything to the conclu or reco?
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:03:06 AM): aok
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:03:15 AM): recomend nlng
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:03:23 AM): i thnk ung conclu mhb n ata e
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:03:27 AM): is it?
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:04:25 AM): ok naman
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:04:28 AM): one para though
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:04:33 AM): im doing reco right now
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:04:56 AM): ok cge
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:05:04 AM): add m ung type q nina
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:05:28 AM): la n aq maicp hehe
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:05:57 AM): to future researchers,
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:07:01 AM): they should update the information about the news criteria because it is susceptible to change
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:08:03 AM): thats for future researchers?
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:08:07 AM): yep
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:08:17 AM): anything else?
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:08:20 AM):
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:08:45 AM): wala na for conclu?
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:08:59 AM): u nwt to add p?
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:09:02 AM): *want
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:09:06 AM): kulng pb?
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:09:13 AM): prang ayoko na.. hehehe
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:09:19 AM): pero its just one para
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:10:05 AM): bkt d other parts b hw many?
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:10:24 AM): 2-3
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:12:33 AM): aokok
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:12:34 AM): umm
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:12:48 AM): i cnt cme up with anything n 4d coclu e
jyu_717 (12/15/2006 1:12:52 AM): *conclu
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:13:01 AM): ... cge we'll leave it that way
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:13:06 AM): omg jill!!
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:13:08 AM): we're done!!
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:13:13 AM): waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:13:16 AM):
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:13:17 AM): hahahahaha
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:13:29 AM):
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:13:38 AM): let me fix it and ill send u a copy
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:14:35 AM): okioki
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:14:37 AM): :0
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:14:38 AM):
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:14:40 AM):
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:14:44 AM): finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:14:48 AM): wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:14:48 AM): wahoo!!!
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:14:52 AM): rejoice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:15:04 AM): par-tay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:15:07 AM):
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:15:10 AM):
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:15:39 AM): btw could u fix the paging?
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:15:46 AM): i think i forgot to adjust some of them
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:15:55 AM): oki cge
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:16:00 AM): then send it back
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:16:01 AM):
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:16:06 AM): haynako im so happy...
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:16:35 AM): table of contents p
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:16:38 AM): do we have b?
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:16:43 AM): its with the title page
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:18:26 AM): ok naman e
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:18:32 AM): ung title pge
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:18:38 AM): no prob naman
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:19:55 AM): even sa last page?
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:20:01 AM): last chapter
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:20:02 AM): last page?
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:20:03 AM): hehe
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:20:06 AM): wait
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:20:07 AM): sori
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:20:08 AM): hehe
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:20:33 AM): title pge n toc np na
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:20:44 AM): ok hehehe
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:20:53 AM): pero the paging is correct for all?
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:21:13 AM): do we include the tables
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:21:14 AM): ?
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:21:15 AM): bkt gnun ung chap1??
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:21:24 AM): yeah include them
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:21:34 AM): huh why?
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:21:44 AM): wats wrong with chap 1?
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:21:51 AM): parng combind ung mga pges
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:22:00 AM): huh??
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:22:11 AM): wat do u mean?
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:22:28 AM): ah!
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:22:29 AM): okok
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:22:32 AM): nvr mind jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:22:36 AM): i fixd it na
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:22:44 AM): whew
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:22:58 AM): u want to print it that way?
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:23:07 AM): o u want to combine them?
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:23:14 AM): so to save paper and ink?
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:23:25 AM): pwede...
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:23:45 AM): pro im too lazy to combine them...
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:23:47 AM): haha
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:23:51 AM):
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:23:54 AM): haha il tyr
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:23:56 AM): *try
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:24:06 AM): ty jill...
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:25:59 AM): xurness
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:26:17 AM): aaahh sweet fulfillment....
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:29:28 AM): sure is..
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:29:32 AM):
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:29:54 AM): ours is quite short
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:29:56 AM):
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:30:02 AM): eh?
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:30:03 AM): 24 pges lng
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:30:05 AM):
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:30:09 AM): others 50
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:30:11 AM): 30
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:30:11 AM): waaaa!!!!
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:30:16 AM): 40
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:30:16 AM): jill no more!!!!
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:30:18 AM):
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:30:21 AM):
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:30:24 AM):
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:30:27 AM): yeah i knw
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:30:32 AM): ayaw qn rin nh
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:30:33 AM):
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:30:39 AM): im jst sayng hehe
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:30:53 AM): hehe
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:32:47 AM): ok na?
jillan yu(12/15/2006 1:32:57 AM): yep
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:33:20 AM): pls lng
jillan yu(12/15/2006 1:33:30 AM): hope this is worth a high grade
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:33:33 AM): ugh!
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:33:48 AM): oki n?
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:34:21 AM):
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:35:08 AM): yup
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:35:14 AM): okay na okay na...
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:35:21 AM): haaay get ur sleep girl
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:35:27 AM): hahaha
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:35:28 AM): ill pass this first thing tom
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:35:28 AM):
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:35:41 AM): blog lng muna for a moment
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:35:41 AM):
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:35:45 AM): lol
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:35:47 AM):
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:35:50 AM): this is worth blogging for!
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:36:00 AM):
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:36:08 AM): hee hee
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:36:10 AM): cge
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:36:14 AM): ill go up and print this na
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:36:16 AM): dnt 4get 2 pass that ha
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:36:20 AM): ayt hay
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:36:23 AM): lol why would i?
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:36:26 AM): final-ly!!!
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:36:34 AM): hehehe
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:36:39 AM): a toast to the both of us!
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:36:44 AM): yes!
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:36:45 AM): wheee
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:36:47 AM):
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:36:51 AM):
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:36:55 AM):
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:36:59 AM):
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:37:05 AM): hahaha
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:37:08 AM): wheeee
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:37:08 AM): cge nyt girl!
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:37:09 AM): wheee
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:37:10 AM): wheee
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:37:12 AM): nyt
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:37:15 AM): slptyt
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:37:18 AM):
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:37:19 AM): c u
stephanie chua (12/15/2006 1:37:22 AM):
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:37:23 AM): ayt c ya
jillan yu (12/15/2006 1:37:28 AM):

those were definitely sabaw moments.hahaha yep.sabaw as of the moment. ugh!sleepy time! need to wake up.again.in a few hours.

message for five random people #1

1. i miss you. so much.

2. walang hiya ka! inunahan mo pa ako.! :))

3. hindi ako galit sa 'yo. ewan ko lang ikaw.

4. hindi na ako galit sa 'yo. pero inis pa rin sa 'yo.

5. sana... ikaw na nga kaya?


it's for me to know and for you to never find out. =))

long weekend part 2

So here goes another long weekend. *phew* this time it's been peaceful (haha) and more productive (?) for my schoolwork.

Dec. 7
Went to Makati with my mom. She met up with her high-school batchmate and had lunch together. Of course I was with them. :p the restaurant where we ate reminded me of a few memories and once again, I strolled down memory lane. Going to Makati and on the way home, my mom and I had a few conversations again (like usual :p) but this time it's about my brother, not me. Finally I escape the issues talk! :)) I went online again when I got home (the usual) and come evening, I didn't feel so good. Literally. So I called it a day and took my shower and went to bed. -.-zZz

Dec. 8
When I woke up, I had the sniffles already! Ugh! Anyway just stayed at home. No classes for Catholic schools because of the Immaculate Conception. A holiday that finally affected my schedule! n_nv Did one of my papers for KASPIL. My heck! I finally made a four-page reaction paper. :)) That's an accomplishment for me. :D And regarding that reading that I mentioned in my entry long weekend part 1, yep the reaction paper's suppose to be one paper per reading. There are five readings. Ugh! Anyway, finished one already and finished reading the second one as well. I just need to make the reaction paper.

Dec. 9
My mom's birthday today! :D I bought her a small cake. Actually it was an adventure for me. I had to beat the time before she gets home because I didn't inform her that I'd go somewhere, much less tell her I'm buying a cake for her. Then that wouldn't be a surprise now would it? ;) We just had a small gathering and my God did I eat a lot again! Ugh! To compensate, I didn't eat dinner anymore. :D anyway, I still felt full until bedtime. Evening came and suddenly I felt melancholic. Don't know why. I just did. Weird huh? Hmm…

Dec. 10
Try to finish two papers for KASPIL today and send my answers to my blockmate for INTFILO. I think we're suppose to eat out later tonight because it was Mom's birthday yesterday and we didn't celebrate it with my dad yet. I said I think. That's was the plan last night. Mom had to work yesterday night as well. :D

That's my weekend for this week. I think it's more productive than last week's. :D Just a few days more until we finally complete the requirements and finally it's over! Though I'm not entirely sure if that's a good thing or a bad one…

melancholic

i just suddenly felt melancholic... i miss my baby. WTH! :))



just a few more paperworks...and im good and done with second term. btw, no finals again for us. at least for the finals week. just paperworks and requirements. :D 2 out of 5 already done for KASPIL. 12 more pages to go! yeah! :)) and final paper for ENGLRES. and INTFILO final group paper. *sigh* oh well. there goes my weekend.



shoutout to my mum. it's her birthday today. wheeee! n_n she doesn't know my blog anyway. :)) that's a good thing. :D

christmas

Sad… been feeling sad recently. Christmas is just around the corner. Sadly, I don’t feel the presence of it. The country's really down right now even if the supposedly remittance of our modern heroes are to salvage our country. The cool weather every morning is still felt; however, it doesn’t bring any delight like it did before when I was young. Things are really different now. Yes I know that change is inevitable in our lives but I never thought it would be this drastic. People say that our lives are like wheels; you can be on top one minute and at the bottom the next. You never know what life may bring.

Speaking of life, I can't believe I'm almost graduating. Just two more years. Two more years, Dad. I'm going to help you don't worry. I'm in my sophomore year in college; don't you and Mom worry yourselves about me and the future. There's definitely a future for us. There's nothing else that can distract me from doing what I have to do. Doing what my obligation is. Doing what needs to be done. I won't let our family down. I know you guys are relying on me. I won't fail you like my sister did. I learned from other people's lives and I have enough experiences and knowledge to last me this long in life. You guys taught me well. I know I'm a strong person. I know I'm strong enough to handle what life will throw at me. This time around, no more distractions. It’s finally over. I'm dealing with what matters in my life -- our family. I'm going to take care of our family. I'm going to graduate and you'll see me go up the stage and get my diploma, Dad. I'm doing this for you, for the family. I gave up my dream for the moment just so I can fulfill what you guys want for me. I have no idea where I'm going or what this will bring me. As long as you guys are there right by my side, believing in me that I can do this, that I can accomplish anything, I know I won't fall astray. I just wish that you won't leave me in the middle of my journey. I've had enough people leave my side while on this journey. Please don't. Lord please be kind enough to give my family, esp. my Dad, good health and harmony for our family.
It's sad that things are not how they used to be. I now know what you and Mom are feeling when I was still a kid. I now realize the reality that life is not laden in a silver platter. Not everything in life lasts forever. But that not necessarily mean that we should give up. Rather, we should work harder and prove that we'll be able to make it. Challenges are not given to us if God knows we are not capable of overcoming them. I know our family will survive. I just wish it'll wait for me… After all of this, I'm going to pursue my dream. Even if I don't get to finish it, even just half of it will do for me. As long as I got to feel how it was to live my dream would be enough for me. This is my wish before I depart. Just in case. I'm going to bring back what we had before. It might not be all, but at least half of it I'd try. Or I will die trying. I won't give up without a fight. I promise you that. I know you guys are proud of me. Of what I've accomplished so far. I won't stop there. I won't stop chasing my dreams. It will remain a dream if I don't do something to attain it. I'm glad that even if my life's twisted and everything, I'm still given great parents to be my mentors, to be my family. Merry Christmas, Mom and Dad, I love you.

Your daughter Elise

christmas wishlist

Christmas is just a couple of weeks left. I haven't made any Christmas shopping yet. :)) I don't know. I don't feel the spirit like I used to. Maybe it's because we're busy with all the deadlines we have to meet. Ugh! Anyway, I hope the stress would all be over and done with. So I can finally start my Christmas shopping. :)) of course I have a few things in mind that I want too. :D if I have a secret Santa out there somewhere, I hope he/she/it gets to read this. =))

1. Tickets for the dolphin show in Moa before it leaves :))
2. Pillow/ beanbag from It's Cool. (Go to SM Manila. There's a small boutique there or in Gift Gate :D) Preferably the dolphin or the cute, cute doggie with a path on his left eye n_n
3. Converse Chuck Taylor (either of the three :D)
4. Adidas flip flops that I have been eyeing since August (if it's still there.. >.<)
5. 
   Starbucks organizer!! Or any organizer. That would help me get ready for next year and next term. :D
6. 
   Jostein Gaarder's Solitaire Mystery. My god! I want a copy of my own. This is my all-time favorite read! The last time I read this was way back in 6th grade. Borrowed from Stacey.
7. 
   A new wardrobe for next term! Haha I never realized that I have a few clothes that are actually "wearable" for school. I can't exactly wear something so daring like skirts or shorts because I commute. Let's see if I have the courage next term. :))
8. 
   Sony w800i. I want and I love :D
9. 
   Or maybe Xda instead. Xda IIi to be exact :D if that's possible, cancel out the w800i. =))
10. 
    Havaianas flip flops. :D
11. 
    A new pair of glasses with my current grade

Oh yeah. To my Christmas Cringle person, to make it easier for you. kidding;) it's just a list of wishful thinking =))

long weekend part 1

Before, I've been complaining that I want a break, I need a break from all the chaos, stress, and deadlines. I finally got to get my wish, but I slacked off. Now I know why it's not yet time for me to receive the entire break that I wanted. I think I had enough for this week of that break. A lot and a few happened (does it make sense?) within the four-day weekend.

Nov. 30
We were supposedly having our alternative classes but Reming arrived and spoiled everything. Well thanks to Reming, I finally got to experience a "holiday" that affected my schedule. Mean much? Sorry na.. :D Woke up later than my usual wake-up time but it felt great. Decided to make an entry because 1. nothing much to do and 2. something's bugging me, but had no idea what. Then come afternoon, I finally got my answer. The reason why Intuition bugged me the whole day. So rant and rave. :)) I made two entries and wasn't really satisfied with the last one so I made another one that really expressed what I felt. My buds and I were wondering if Reming really was leaving because we were to go to Moa the next day. That night it rained, and decided that we discuss it over the next day.

Dec.1
Posted my "more expressed" entry right after I woke up. We finally decided that we're going. =)) It almost didn't push through because of Reming. Good thing he/she/it left. When we arrived at Moa, one of the entrance doors got trashed by the wind. Good thing our friend arrived or else we would have been hit by the bubog. =)) Anyway, we ate at Sakae Sushi courtesy of galbes. n_n Thanks for the treat. :D After eating, we walked around and went to the sea view in front of Moa. Camwhored. =)) just trying to kill time because we were to watch Happy Feet come 3.30pm. Bought Starbucks before entering iMax. Inside, camwhored again. =)) We saw some of our batchmates back in high school. After watching, decided we head back home because we had to commute back and it wouldn't be safe if we went home late. Oh yeah, when I got home, I logged in and checked if people viewed my latest entry. And they did. =)) I got to chat with FL as well. :D

Dec. 2
What a boring day! Man! I barely did anything at all! Galbes and I were suppose to go somewhere but didn't push through because she didn't feel well. So I stayed at home typing all the way and was able to make two entries once again. Already posted one, just finishing the other one and maybe I'll post it sometime this week. Almost done with a book I was reading. Before I really wanted to finish the book as soon as I can, but now that there are only two chapters left, I'm actually stopping myself in finishing it. I dread that I won't do anything after finishing it. =))

Dec.3
Just realized I had homework to do that I didn't do for the past three days. :)) typical student. Actually, it's entirely reading homework. And it sucks! Imagine reading 50+ pages of photocopied works from the library in one sitting. Ugh! Yeah I know I need not finish the entire thing in one sitting but for sure I won't remember what the theme of the reading material is if I didn't finish it. Already did my psychology assignment, but still lacks a few details. I'm running out of things to say that's why. Just need to read (ugh!) the photocopied materials for KASPIL and make a reflection paper about them. My heck! That's a lot! I hope it's not one paper for one article because if it is, my brain's sabaw already just thinking about it. And finally, it's the last day for my antibiotics! Wheee I can eat anything I want once again :D

So yeah had a long weekend. Don't think it's that productive though. Wait till next week. I wonder what'll happen. =)) Poor Lasalians. We sure are going to experience cramming for the last two weeks. Wonder how it'll turn out. :D =))

oceans and endlessness

Upon watching happy feet yesterday, I finally felt fulfilled because I was able to watch what I wanted to see. It was so-so. The singing and dancing were cute and I was already able to watch how the penguins lived when we watched a documentary in biology; the same things were showed in the movie. Behind the cuteness and all, my fear was once again realized…

Both in the documentary and the movie, there were scenes were the penguins had to go to the ocean to get food. Whenever there are scenes of oceans and the vastness of it faces me, I don't know why I'm either panic-stricken or fidgety. The darkness of the ocean floor scares me and I can't seem to look at it for a long time. I can't bear watching ocean documentaries, esp. when they feature certain sea creatures like sharks. But I know that it can't be helped to not feature them because they are part of ocean life. I don't like being in the ocean nor seeing the ocean while I am in the water. For some reason, I get tense. There was a scene in the movie where Mumble (not sure of the name haha correct me if im wrong :d) and his Mexican penguin friends accidentally let a construction vehicle thingy (what was the vehicle called?hahaha)drop into the ocean and while the vehicle sank to the bottom of the ocean, Mumble was looking at it. The darkness of the ocean was once again present and that time while watching, I felt like hugging my limbs and not finish the movie. But I fought the urge to do so and continued watching, though I looked away instead of leaving the theater. Yes, I know that concepts about the ocean will be present in the movie but I still watched it. I don't plan to let my fear get the best of me. I don't plan to miss things in life just because of that fear but it still affects me when I see it. I try my best to fight it but I don't know why I just can't seem to overcome it.

And once again, I got startled and screamed while watching yesterday. At least I wasn't the only one who got startled; my bezzie was startled as well and we screamed at the same scene at the same time. Too bad for my galbes because she was in between me and bezzie in the movie house. :D The scene was when Mumble was about to be eaten by a leopard seal and the chase was on between the two of them. The leopard seal reminded me of sharks because of some features that were emphasized in the movie. I just can't watch it without having to look another way when the setting is the ocean! Annoying! The vast and dark endless is the one scaring me. And the thought that it is the ocean and predators are present in the waters gives me the chills. *sigh* When oh when will I overcome you, Endlessness??

a friend?

"It's so nice to wake up every morning all alone and not have to tell somebody you love them when you don't love them anymore..."

I got this quote from my childhood friend's blog. He actually sent me this quote before but I wasn't able to relate to it entirely that time; however, now's another time. It's so true. I finally realized the entirety of the situation I am in. And about time I woke up from the fantasy I was in. No more. It's pointless. It's always the same pattern. The person hiding behind someone else's back. When will Person stand up on his own? Does he think that his "shield" will be there forever? I think I'm not the only one who was living in a dream. Face the facts, you're about to be left there alone. On your own. In a few month's time. After that, who will protect you? Now answer that. Ok, this entry will be directed to someone once again. You can actually leave now. No one is forcing you to read my blog. This is mine. My site. My property. And I'll do whatever I want with it and say whatever I want in it. Why are you guilty? You can’t manage on your own? Why are you reacting? Does it say the truth? I actually have no idea what entry you people are referring to. I'm assuming the entry is my message for him. I'm not the one who started this. I intended the message for you to read, not for anyone else. For you to know or whatever. You need not react actually. But now I know you did but you actually had to let someone react for you once again. How typical of you. The very same thing that happened last year. I don't feel anything for you, no emotion while I am telling you this. Because the entry was really intended for you. Now, what about the person who reacted for you? Your "shield"?

Okay Shield. You want to meddle into someone else's business? Fine. I know you are friends with him, but you need not meddle with his problems. That is for him to solve, not yours. You as his friend can give him pieces of advice or whatever, but you do not fight his fight. It's not yours to win to begin with. He won't learn to have a backbone if you keep on fighting his battles for him. I know you want to protect him from all the "ugliness" the world can throw at him, but it's about time you let him face it. There's no point in hiding him because eventually you can't always be there for him. And now that you are about to leave that place, there's no more point in letting him be dependent of you. He'll be alone there eventually. Let him face the consequences that he has to face. In the end, he has to face the music. Besides, this is our problem. You're not included in this. I actually find humor in this. Why? Because you're not directly affected with this problem. You're not directly involved in this. This is between me and him. But you speak and act as if you were the one affected, not him. And the entry wasn't meant for you, it was meant for him. That should have been my last entry directed at him, but you had to react to it. Why are you the one who's mad? You think it's wrong that I direct message through my blog? You think it's cowardly act?. Speak for yourself. Didn't you use to do the same thing before? Ok, I leave that to your judgment because that's how you feel about it. I don't intend to change that; that's your opinion. But you judge me without knowing the sides of the story or what the intentions are. It's actually selfish of you because that's the only way I can let out my emotions and you still want to deprive me of that. Who do you think you are to deprive me of such right? You believe that I should tell him this in person. But do we get the opportunity to do such? Actually, there were chances but I'm not the one who's not facing the music, it's him. If you only listen to the other side of the story, not just one. You're actually being unfair. I thought you were my friend. I guess not. You don’t understand nor try to understand my situation. I'm the one who is the victim here, not him, not his current. I was the one who let go, and you still take that against me. What do you want me to do? Just accept everything and endure it? No! That's not how it's going to be. I'm human too in case you forgot. I'm not a martyr to take all the accusations you have thrown at me. I've already became a martyr when I gave him up, and you still expect me to be a martyr with my emotions? No! That's too much!

You know what? You actually have a fault with what happened to us. If you did not tolerate his actions and instead told him to be honest, this would not have happened. You actually sided with him. You tolerated his actions even if you knew they were wrong. You actually asked him why he told me, that he could have just denied everything. In that case, you're also making me look stupid. You're not being a good friend. To him nor to me. You're not teaching him anything that's of moral value. You're actually telling him how to cheat. My God! What a friend. Is that how you treat your friends? I guess people were right when they said that you are truly biased. You are not my friend. Now I realize that. Because if you were, you would have looked out for my best interests as well, not only his. You would have considered my feelings, not only his. How disappointing. Maybe that's the reason why you two get along. You have the same level of thinking. Can't blame you though.

If you believe that it's pathetic of me to write everything down instead of telling it to him straight, you got it wrong. I guess you don't know me. This is the only way for now that I can tell him and you all this. If fate will let us meet, don't worry I'll tell you personally. I'm not a coward. I'm actually telling the world what I have to say to both of you. Is that what you call a coward? If it is, then I don't know your definition of brave is. You're actually defeating the purpose of a blog. A blog is like a journal. A person writes his feelings in a blog. And that's just exactly what I did. That's what I felt so that's what I wrote. Kung sa tingin mo ang baba ko sa pagsulat ko ng mga ito sa blog ko, e di mas mababa ka pa sa akin dahil pinatulan mo ang mga sinabi ko.

blogs

Blogs are becoming rampant in the web. But what exactly is the purpose of a blog? Or to be more specific, what is a blog?

blog
Definition
blog
A frequent, chronological publication of personal thoughts and Web links.
Information
A blog is often a mixture of what is happening in a person's life and what is happening on the Web, a kind of hybrid diary/guide site, although there are as many unique types of blogs as there are people.
People maintained blogs long before the term was coined, but the trend gained momentum with the introduction of automated published systems, most notably Blogger at blogger.com. Thousands of people use services such as Blogger to simplify and accelerate the publishing process.
Blogs are alternatively called web logs or weblogs. However, "blog" seems less likely to cause confusion, as "web log" can also mean a server's log files.

Pasted from <http://www.marketingterms.com/dictionary/blog/>

Blogs are like diaries, journals of events of different people. Their sites are personal to them because they serve as a personality of the author. They share what they learn and their experiences so that other people may be able to benefit from their flaws and success. They share their lives and experiences to their liking. These blogs/sites are optional to the viewing pleasure of others. If you don't like the topics covered in a site or whatever, you have the option of leaving the site. Thank you very much.

of friendship and friends

Friendship n. 1.the state of being a friend. 2. friendly feeling or disposition. (random house Webster's dictionary, 2001) <--I might get sued for plagiarism :p not sure of the citation but at least I did didn't I? :))

This word has been in my mind for the longest time. When I was still in grade school, the word meant to me as a companion, someone you spend time with. That's when I realized that you can spend time with anyone but the person can neither be your friend or whatever. Acquaintance. Someone you meet in a certain time. Those moments that can either matter to your life or not. Barkada, a Filipino term for crew. But what's the difference? In a crew, people spend time together doing happy things and making happy memories. Though that not necessarily mean that they are friends. Therefore what is a friend? A lot of quotes could answer this question actually, depending on the person answering the question.

A friend is someone who can tell what your faults are, but still accepts you for who you are. A person who will help you correct those flaws. A person who believes in you no matter how many times you fail. A person who doesn't give up on you. A person who won't be there during happy times, but is there on the critical moments of your life. A person who won't say nor promise that he'll be there if you need him, but rather he'll be there for you whether you need him or not. Someone who won't leave you in your darkest hour. Someone who has the courage to face you even if he did you wrong. Someone who has the courage to fight all the odds just to protect the friendship. Someone who is HONEST enough to tell you what needs to be told. Someone who has the guts to keep his word.

Now that I realize my definition, there are only a few of those people that I can really count as friends. But as a quote once said, when you are able to count with more than one hand who your friends are then you are blessed. And I guess I am. Though life can be sometimes deceiving, and those people who you thought were your friends would let you down, it's your choice to give them another shot if they are truly deserving of that chance. Everybody deserves a second chance, or rather deserves a chance to redeem themselves, but how would you know when is the time to finally give up on that person? I'm also faced with the same dilemma. It's easy to say that you gave up on the person but inside yourself you know that when that person comes back to you, I don't know…! :)) I myself am confused. (you noticed? Hahaha..) It really depends on the person. I can say I'm not selfish when it comes to chances, well as long as I don't tire out from giving and giving the person a chance AND if the person really shows that he/she is sincere. It's sad, I became soft again. I actually am not really very generous about chances because I do believe that when given a chance, there should really be effort to not commit the same mistake and to learn not to commit it all over again. I guess that now, even if someone *ahem* committed the same crime to me, I can't entirely say that I'd be stingy about chances. I don't know why actually. I think I really lost some of my screws. ;) kidding :))

I'm now in college, and I try to communicate with my high-school friends as often as I can. Yeah I have a crew in college as well, but it's still not the same. I didn't grow up with them and the same goes for them with me. We have no idea how our minds work but we just are together. Yes I can say that they are there for me, but I don't know… am I just not contented with what I have? I still can't show them who I truly am, but gradually I'm starting to. It's hard because we are a big crew and I have already learned my lesson with such crews. It rarely works out. There's always an issue going about the group. There will be favoritisms and such. I actually don't mind if there are; I've learned to immune myself with my past experience. As long as I know who to stick with to. Yes I am guilty of the favoritisms as well. But I don't believe it to be favoritism. It's as simple as adjusting to who can adjust to you, and trying to work on the friendship (if it is really to be considered as such). I apologize if I seem to be suspicious of everything and everyone. It just happens to be my defense mechanism. There have been too many people who already failed me in the past and recently as well. Better safe than sorry.

2nd term

Two more weeks… just two more weeks and second term's finally over. FINALLY! I haven't been able to breath since it started. Well, ok maybe it's exaggerated; maybe when I reached the middle of second term I just wasn't able to breath. I don't feel like I'm still alive anymore. Too much has happened to me within the span of 3 months (I know a term usually lasts around four months but it's still November.). Too much work, too much drama, too much stress. If you don't feel like listening to the ramblings of an eighteen-year-old, feel free to leave the site. Thank you very much.

As I was saying, first impressions about my professors, subjects and everything else in between second term didn't last that long. I mean this from a positive to a negative. Like in my ENGLRES class, on the first day of second term I thought the professor was cute, not in a I-have-a-crush-on-my-professor way mind you. I just found his accent cute but eventually I got tired of it because he's such a pain in the ass! Really! Well, maybe his subject, but also with the way he teaches. I hardly understand him whenever he explains what he wants in our paper. And the subject's so technical, man! My heck!

In FILKOMU, I don't have complaints with our professor nor with our subject. The prof's ok because whenever she explains, she gets her point across her students. Well, at least that's how I think about it.

INPSYCO's another issue. The first day of class was really indescribable. I mean most of us had the impression that the professor was really arrogant and so full of himself; most of them were irritated with him. I, on the other hand, wasn't. I mean seriously, I wasn't. I was able to look far beyond the impression that the professor fronted. I like the way he teaches because I really learn from them and I am able to relate the lessons with real life experiences. I don't know why I was able to look at the prof in that sense during our first meeting. Maybe because of the subject that he's teaching. Psychology was my first choice because I really find it interesting to learn about human behavior. I've been doing observations myself but I know that it's not enough basis. But until now, the observations that I have made and the outcomes that I've predicted are not yet proven wrong. At times, it's actually scary to be right. I'm still waiting for the time and the person who would prove me wrong. Waiting, waiting :))

INTFILO on the other hand, I cannot comment. Our professor's really good-looking. But I hate his classes. I don't get to learn anything besides anime and movies galore. Come on, what does anime have to do with philosophy in the first place? He's actually geeky in a sense and he sort of reminds me of my classmate in high school.

KASPIL's ok I guess. This is the top two class on my list that I really learned I have to say, first being INPSYCO :p . Most of the initial knowledge that I thought to be true and the lessons actually taught in school were wrong. I got to get the real score with the history of the Philippines. ;p However, I hate the times whenever we have to take our assessment tests. The span of 1 1/2 hour is not enough to answer our assessment because the knowledge and comprehension questions usually have voluminous answers.

SCIENVB is ok. Not much comment, except that the professor's extremely nice. Too nice for our own good actually, that most of the people abuse the kindness of the professor.

We had the most number of surprise quizzes this term. And my God were the results devastating! Well, except for SCIENVB and the only pop quiz in FILKOMU. ;) anyway, it's almost over. Finally! I want to get my rest! Rest from all this stress. Hopefully, I'd still have my sanity after the term. I think my brain's turned sabaw already. =))

a message for you

I hate the fact that you have this effect on me. I hate the fact that you were the person who made me forget Jeng. Why did it have to be you in the first place??? I admit, I was starting to like you during my junior year, when you were being sweet to me and all. And I now know that you had an idea that I knew what you were up to that time. My bezzie told me that you guys had discussed it over one of your chats when she was still over in the US. Also from our friend Jason who so happened to be your sole companion. But set that aside from the topic because that issue was so long over.

Why oh why did I like you in the first place?! You were not near any of the standards that I had made! How come you were able to pass through all of those without me knowing?! Maybe because you fit in the category that mattered most to me -- the fact that you know who I am, how I am, what I am. The fact that you fit exactly in that description that the other criteria don't matter anymore. You know how my mood works, what ticks me off, when I'm sad and what makes me feel better. You know how to just be there even if you need not speak. You know how to be sweet in the small things that you do for me. You're the only person that I let in so close in my life. I never expected that I'd feel something for you in this sense. It never entered my mind that I would feel this way. It's sad. The quote "expect the unexpected" fits well with what happened to me with you. It's annoying that I was caught in this trap, that I was dumb enough to fall for what life had for me. But why did it had to be you? You my guybes.. I hate the fact that we are now drifting away because of what happened to us. But what I hate most is the fact that I became weak. I once again felt how it was to be helpless, to be left alone, to be stripped off the thing that mattered to me the most. Now that I have forgotten how it was to be alone, I'm once again left in the dark.

You know what? The fact that you were the person who made me forget Jeng is the thing that's making it hard for me. You know why? Because when the thing with Jeng before was still fresh, I was really thinking how the heck am I suppose to forget the person and if there's going to be someone out there who's going to make me forget about him. If there was someone who will make me forget about Jeng, I'd be thankful for that person. Thankful that he came my way. And guess what it so happened to be you. Unintentionally it happened to be you. Not that I didn't want you to be that person, but sadly because of it, a lot has happened ever since, after that deed you did on my 16th birthday. After I forgave you and made up, things were different between us. At times I blame myself for letting this happen to me. Why did I choose you to be the person who will be close to me in the first place? The fact that I thought I knew that nothing was possible of something like this happening to us made me think that it would be safe enough for me to let you in my life that close. But I guess I was wrong. We should really expect the unexpected huh? I'm not saying that I regret the things that happened to us. It's just that it's hard for me to just let go of you that easily. It's hard for me to just forget all the memories we shared, the moments we spent together. I know for you it's easy because you have someone new beside you to help you forget all about me. But what about for my part? Do I have to wait for another year or so just to move on and let go of everything? I'll admit, I still have feelings for you. I'm still waiting for the time that we'll see each other and for what will happen if we did. (By the way, we have no formal closure.)There are only two options that's possible of happening to me -- 1. either I will feel numb and indifferent or 2. I will break down and cry when I see you. What would be the lesser evil between the two? I have no idea. Either way I wouldn't feel any better if either of the two will happen to me. If I let choice 1 happen to me, I'm sure that when we are about to go home I'd be regretting that I didn't grab the chance to speak to you; however, if I let choice 2 happen, my pride and dignity's going to be crushed and I don't know if it's worth crushing for now.

I don't know how you think anymore. I don’t know what you really feel or think about me now. Your actions are confusing me, just like it did before. How can I get a hold of that answer when we don't communicate like we do before? It's sad. I already had a grasp of my sanity about this issue but I just had a dream about you and now all comes crashing back to me. You know what happened in my dream? I dreamt that we were barely talking to each other. We were out with our crew, going out and doing the usual stuff we all do. But the thing is that we weren't talking and it's like we don't care about each other anymore. I'm scared of the thought of it. It breaks me apart to know that that will happen to us. You matter to me a lot. I have no idea why you do. I just know that you do matter to me a lot, a whole lot, more than you'll ever know. More than you'll ever feel. More than you'll ever see. Is it really too late for me to show you that? Is it really over for the both of us? If it is, I know in my heart that I'm going to have a hard time coping with this. Eventually I know I will get over this though I know it won't be easy. But I do hope that if it's not, we'd still be able to work things out. I don’t want for things to end this way. If things do end between us, please don't come back anymore, esp. if my life's already set and everything. Why? Because I'm sure that you’re the only person who's going to mess up my mind and my heart once again.

11/21/06

stupid..

Elise was texting with one of her friends Marvin. It so happened that Marvin was able to chat with the guy Elise loved because they were all good friends. But because of what happened to Elise and Guy, now everything including the friendship that was long established way back when they were kids was gone. It got affected with what happened to them.
Elise received a message from Marvin, " Hey, I got to talk with Guy a while ago.."
"Really? Ok I see.. Where were you able to chat with him?"
"Through messenger .. I was able to shut him up again."
"Really? :)) OK I see.. Why? What did you guys talk about anyway?"
"I asked him if you guys were still communicating. He answered 'if I feel like doing it' because according to him your conversations don't last that long. So I told him, 'why? Do you need to put effort in that? I mean you don't have to force yourself if you don't want to you know.' He only answered 'yeah ..'"
"That's bullshit! What kind of answer was that? So he even has the guts to stand up to me, after what he did?! How dare he! Who does he think he is?! Why, does he think that he's in the right position to do that?! How arrogant can he get! So it's even my fault that our conversations don't last?! Why bother communicating with me if he's not happy with what he's doing?! I don't need that crap from him because I'll be fine on my own. He was even the one who promised that we would maintain the friendship. How dare he! Now I know he's not worth anything at all. I now know I didn't lose anything with that kind of attitude, he's not worth anything at all. I pity the next girl who'll like him because he doesn't know how to think. How stupid!"

i hate you...

i hate the effect you have on me....i hate the way you still make me smile after all this time...after all that's happened...i hate the fact that you're the only person who made me forget the heartache i felt before when you're only bringing me more now that i felt your love...and you know what else? i hate the fact that after all this time your love is still the one i'm longing for..... :'c

*online enrollment

regarding my entry "online enrollment," i mentioned my sched right? well, a little change with the sched. instead of my lasare1 being feb16 sec a52,it is now feb09 a51 same time haha, special thanks to posh crae dear n_n yey! im still with the block with our lasare1 hehehe ;)

modified week

just got home from an oh-so-tiring day..had a huge headache again a while ago..feeling a little better now..yesterday i also had a splitting headache and it's the second time this week.it's unusual because i don't get headaches that often,and definitely not consecutively.i guess it's with all the stress about school and everything else in between.oh well just have to live through it.i really can't wait for my 2nd term break.it'll be a huge--enormous relief for me.too much has happened to me this second term.but maybe i'll blog about it some other time.an entire entry dedicated for my oh-so-happy (yeah right *sarcasm*) second term.but for now,it'll be just for today.haha
i woke up around 5:30-ish this morning.my god!can you imagine waking up in the weekend that early?!annoying right?well it's because of our pe interclass tournament,which by the way we won two times and lost two times as well.i mean it's a continual game for our section,and we only have a few good players because the others had cwts and rotc and were not able to make it.i was really tense when i played but at least i got two out of two serves inside the net.haha im improving :p oh yeah,btw,pe guy was not around this morning as well.sad.haha.after the tournament,i went to an internet cafe and stayed there to kill time.come 12-ish,a groupmate and i went to mcdo to wait for our other groupmate who has transportation to get us to paranaque which is the house of our groupmate.when we arrived at the subdivision,my god,we spent a lot of time looking for the house because the directions given by our groupmate was messed up;she doesn't know her own territory haha joke.but anyway,she knows this because that's the first thing we said to her when we saw her haha.so we had our shoot and had to leave at 5pm,but we were suppose to leave at 4-4:30 because nicole had a party to attend at 6pm.got a splitting headache all the way back to school.then we went our separate ways,me heading to the vito cruz station and waited for the train.i had a light nap inside the train even if i was standing up hehe.that was how bad my headache was.i did the same thing yesterday when i went home hehe.at any rate,im good now.i guess i just needed to be home to feel better.hahaha.only 3 more weeks before the end of the second term.when this term ends,i feel like i already graduated.hahaha.it's that hectic.well according to our professors,the second term is the fastest among all the terms in la salle.i don't know,i don't have the same views.hehe

online enrollment

because of the stupid enrollment, my entire schedule for the week got screwed! grr!


it was like this, CLA or college of liberal arts students were supposedly to enroll on november 15 which is a wednesday. i was restless because the time that i was allowed to enroll had conflict with my wednesday schedule because i have pe from 2:30 until 4:30. my timeslot for the enrollment was 3pm onwards. yeah fine onwards. but the schedule's a first come first serve basis and of course i want to get my ideal schedule. i mean who wouldn't right? anyway, wednesday morning, i was to have my philosophy exam (i wasn't able to study the night before hehe bad me >.<) and worrying about my schedule for the 3rd term. i was really restless and fidgety. i didn't eat my lunch on my first break,& instead my blockmates and i went to the 15th floor to the study hall, well of course to study haha. sadly, most of us were also restless about the online enrollment because it was our first time. being frosh and all haha. at any rate, i heard rumors flying around that our enrollment was to be moved the next day,which is on the 16th, a thursday because the server of la salle was down. most probably you're going to say that that's a relief for me at least i won't be late for our enrollment blahblahblah. well guess what, it's not a relief! wanna know why??? because on that day, my groupmates and i in FILKOMU were suppose to go to bulacan and shoot there in crae's (my blockmate) house for our mtv.! so yeah, is it still a relief?! we had to cancel our shoot because of course our priority is our enrollment for the 3rd term and if we did push through,most probably we won't be able to shoot it well because we'd be worrying about our schedules. so we cancelled our shoot for thursday and planned to shoot on saturday instead. we had no cwts for this saturday so lucky us right? yeah supposedly,but when i attended our pe class, that's where the conflict entered. in our pe class, we are to have interclass tournament and the tournament starts this saturday! oh my heck!! my sched's really messed up!! also, before i had my pe class, i went to csb and had lunch with my friends and we were even planning to go out on saturday afternoon. that was before evreything was ruined by the online enrollment schedule. oh well.. i had no choice. i had to back out from our saturday day/night-out (well,most probably we'd reach until evening because it's always been haha). good thing that most of us were not available that day. phew! i wouldn't miss out on our day-out hehe or else i'll be feeling guilty for the rest of the time until i get to bond my buds again and that's not any good either. anyway, i strayed away from the topic,sort of haha. well,back to the topic at hand, our tournament was to be held saturday morning, from 7am to 12pm. but according to our professor, we wouldn't be spending the entire time playing. it all depends what time our team was to compete. so it'd be really lucky if our team got to compete early,at least i get to leave early. so, my supposedly schedule for this was:
wednesday 11:40-12:40 philo exam,12:40-2:30 lunch with my buds in csb,2:30-4:30 pe class,and right after pe rush to the nearest net cafe and enroll.
but as i said earlier,everything was moved so my schedule now is:
thursday 9-ish go to csb and attend the yhe exhibit of my childhood bud kirk because he gave me an invitation for he is one of the organizers of the event and of course to support a friend. besides,i had freetime on thursdays. anyway,my enrollment's not until 3pm. after that go to the library and have my clearance so i wouldn't have any conflict when i enroll. then go home haha.
well, i actually did but when i was about to go home, i sort of got held back because well i had a chat with a friend. btw, i got the chance to spend time with my FL wahahaha anyway no big deal just like to say it hehe.. at least he's nice enough to say hi unlike some other people who i used to talk with but whenever we see each other in campus,his stare just passes by me as if i were invicible. argh! never mind. that simply means he's not worth my time to say hi to hahaha :))

anyway, so when i got home, i waited until it was 2:30 before i logged in. when i was about to log in, i had a hard time doing so because the server was still unfunctionable haha.it was still down in a way because it couldn't accommodate all of us. i mean come on, for pete's sake, what's the point in trying to enroll online when (1) the server for some reason is down, (2) it won't accommodate all of the university's students. hello?!?! for crying out loud, this is a university! it's not high school anymore so the student population is big right?! why did they even have online enrollments when they can't accommodate their students.what's the point in that?! fine,an excuse could be there's a technical problem or something. but hello, if they know that it's going to be enrollment time,aren't they suppose to check the systems weeks before the enrollment so the chances of having technical problems would be low?! i mean we pay a good sum of money to the university and the least they could do is use that money for good service right? that's why we chose the university anyway. for the high standards which according to them is high class. a simple enrollment system they can't fix right. such a piss off!

anyway,it's a good thing something good happened to me that day;i had a lot of patience haha. but i guess my patience was really put to the test. imagine, just when i was already allowed to enroll, the powers went out and all of my efforts and patience was wasted!! damn! just my luck..! hay, anyway, so i went to the nearest internet cafe and logged in as soon as i got hold of the computer. but my gosh, was the system ever so fast! *insert sarcasm here* it took me 3 freaking hours just to enroll for my courses for the 3rd term. and take note, i wasn't able to complete every course i needed in that 3-hour span. oh my, imagine that.! argh!!! i wasn't able to get my ideal schedule because i ran out of slots. my god just my luck,really! anyway, at least i was able to modify it a bit and still would make it home early haha. so now, presenting my schedule for the 3rd term. *insert drumroll please haha*
persef1 sec.A51 0700-0900 M
scienvp sec.A51 0830-0930 T
nstp-c2 sec.A51 0900-1200 S
intglos sec.A55 1030-1130 MWF
intsoci sec.A58 1140-1240 MWF
fwsport sec.A66 1000-1200 H
inthrop sec.A51 1250-1420 MF
humalit sec.A52 1300-1430 TH
speecom sec.A52 1430-1530 MWF
lbyenvp sec.A52 1000-1200 T
lasare1 sec.A52 0730-1630 Feb16
btw, for the nonlasalians reading this (if there are haha), H stands for Huwebes or thursday in english. haha for my blockmates who'll read my blog,please tell me if you're going to be my classmate in a certain class so maybe we can accompany each other hehehe :)

an undescribable day ;)

i don't know how to react to my day..it's annoying,weird and in a way relieving haha

last night,i was panicking because i haven't studied for my INPSYCO midterms,which was suppose to be today,and our report for KASPIL isn't quite ready yet.i was having a bit of my usual panic moments and had a hard time breathing again..hay...anyway,i just slept early so i can rest and feel better the next day.today,when i left and rode the LRT,thank god i was able to ride the one with air condition hehe.but sadly, when the train reached Carriedo station,my god the train experienced technical difficulties!waaaaaaa... >.<>.< anyway,my blockmate and i just rode a pedicab and took turns.but i still wanted to try to learn how to ride a two wheeler,so i borrowed our block president's bike and tried.sadly, i can't keep my balance even if ian already held the bike while i was pedalling..grr hay...when will be the day when i can finally ride a two wheeler?and who will the person that'll finally get me to learn to ride one?haha im a bit intrigued :p anyway,the block ate at harbor square in tapa king and come 11am,we were heading back to school.we rode lorce's car and wow it's so cool inside.hahaha.he owns a blck honda civic and it's only been two months old.haha so we arrived at school safely thank god :) and went back to class.i finally went to a block outing hahahahahaha x_x

11/4/06 :)

yesterday was really a blast! haha.. i had fun with my childhood buds in our eat-out! haha.. let me elaborate about my day. :)

when i woke up yesterday, i realized that i havne't read anything about our report for KASPIL (which is tomorrow by the way :p). after doing my usual routine, i sat down and started reading some of our papers, at the same time hesitant because i haven't told my mom that i have to leave early because my groupmates and i had to draft down our report. eventually i did tell my mom with the help of a bit of nagging from my dad. haha.. so yeah, bathtime getting ready blah blah blah. when i arrived at the lrt station, about 10-15 minutes, the train arrived, but just my luck, it's the steel-type,the supposedly new one. and my god! it's steaming hot inside because there's no air conditioning unit! i had no choice, im running late for our meeting and had no time to wait for the next train so i rode "the oven" haha.. when the train was about to arrive at Central Terminal, it suddenly stopped and of course it wasn't a a happy feeling because there's no aircon inside. it seemed like forever and decided to send a group message to my friends/textmates haha.. finally the train moved and arrived at Central Terminal. a lot of passengers got off because they can't bear the heat. i had to stay, im running late! i can't be picky. arriving at vito cruz, when i stepped out of the train, my god it's cooler than inside the train! totally no ventilation inside. a piece of advice to fellow commuters of LRT, DO NOT RIDE THE STEEL TRAIN!

i met up with my friends at around 11:30 and were still waiting for one of oru buds. we left taft at around twelve-ish and arrived at makati one-ish. we ate at chili's which is in greenbelt 1. *see photo albums in multiply if i uploaded them already haha* we had quite a chat but most of the time, i got teaased and all. i got the "pang-aasar" basically haha. i was cool about it, just kept on laughing. i was in a good mood because my friends and i finally went out, even if we weren't complete. but the "original group" so to speak, the five of us were complete and glad enough that we were. :) we left chili's at 3 and decided to watch Open Season. though we weren't able to make it on the 3:15 show, we settled for the 5pm show. to kill time, we went to timezone and the guys basically played while bezzie and me just sat down and chatted all the way. it was hard though for it was noisy in the arcade.haha.. come 5pm, we went inside the theater and watched. a little later, a friend of ours was ringing my friend kirk and it so happened that ed and jason are in greenbelt and asking where we are. kirk told ed that we're watching a movie and to try to catch up if they can still enter the movie house. they got to catch up eventually and we all watched the movie. i just found it annoying that in one of the scenes i got startled really bad! for pete's sake, it's just a cartoon and it wasn't even bloody/gory for that matter! man! do i have a weak heart? haha don't know.. after the movie, we went back to timezone and the usual the guys played while bezzie and me chatted again. eventually bezzie and i got bored and went to cold rock to eat. i missed it! haha.. it so happened that ed and jason hadn't eaten yet while the rest of us were still quite full from what we ate at chili's. (btw, i wasn't able to finish my meal hehe..) we went to bubba gump and this time it's ed's treat. haha lucky him we weren't that hungry haha joke :p when we had our photo taken, it was either too dark or our heads were missing. haha..(that explains the shot in my album :p) as usual, the butt of the joke was directed at me. haha but i just laughed it off. while eating, the usual for the guys, they cracked up jokes both clean and green haha but we were used to it; we've been together for 13 years already and still counting, right guys? :) as usual i was the only one with curfew and had to rush back home. my god! can't wait until i graduate hahaha.. the usual, i got teased about it. used to it haha.. bezzie and mark drove me home and typical of me, i got a headache again. i always do when im about to go home after going out, no matter what time. hmm weird me.. when i got home, i started texting everyone thanking them for a fun day and they be careful on the way home. bes k and i even talked over the phone (sun again haha..) before we went to bed. im still happy until now. :) thanks guys, il be waiting for the next, after all not everyone had given their treat yet hahaha.. ;p

lemar-what about love?

"What About Love?"

What if I took my time to love you?

What if I put no one above you?

What if I did the things

That really mattered?

What if I ran through

Hoops of disaster?

No one would care if

We never made it

We're in this alone

So why don't we face it

There is no room to

Blame one another

We just need time to

Forgive each other

[Chorus:]

What about love?

What about feeling?

What about all the things that make life worth living?

What about faith?

What about trust?

And tell me baby...what about us?

How can I give this

Love a new beginning?

How can I stop the rain?

It's never ending

How do I keep my soul believing?

Memories of how we

Should be keep calling

[Chorus]

I'll take the rivers rise

I'll take the happy times

I'll take the moments of disaster

[Chorus]

*i would soooooo loooove for someone to sing me this song!! (more or less a guy right? haha) hay i have my own dream of this..talk about it more next time :) *

back to reality

"it's better to have nobody than somebody who is half yours, half there or doesn't want to be there, or is there and then suddenly disappears."

finally, something and someone knocked me back to reality, back to my real senses. i received this quote from a close friend & it got me thinking, yeah, it is so true! then i realized, that's how i used to think before this whole mess happened to me. i mean, come on, call it selfish whatever you want, but would anyone want to share something that's of great value or of great affection to anybody? it's in human nature, for pete's sake. ok a little compromise, maybe a someTHING we might, we would. what about a someONE, a someBODY? would you still want to share with anyone,esp. when you know yourself that you would give your all and more & all that you're going to receive is just half or maybe barely half of what you're giving? i don't think that anybody would be that stupid. but guess what? i did. MY GOD! i did! me, of all people! i have been telling myself that since, oh i don't know, as long as i can remember?! & i even tell the same thing to my friends who are in any way near that certain situation. finally something happened to get me back to reality. hmm...thanks friend,you know who you are :) hahaha..

i also had a long chat with (well it's so typical of us anyway hahaha) my best friend over the phone (sun actually haha so mobile phone :p) last night. something she told me got stuck in my head & made me think of my actions, my behavior for the past couple of days -- she had a chat with one of our friends in our crew & my best friend told him this: "Mali si _____ ng kinalaban. Si Jill pa, of all people. And pangatlong beses na yung ngayon." hahahahaha... i had a good laugh last night. at least someone out there really knows me. :) good to know, hahaha.. & know what? she made me realize that i've been giving more than i used to, that my affection and kindness toward that certain person has been abused. i gave that certain person, how may chances was it again?... oh yeah! that was four actually. four! for pete's sake! i've been that dense already?! i have been stupid for that long??! my god what the heck is wrong with me! is it about time that i give up all this hope that this certain person will learn his lesson? would you please help me decide? well if anybody's reading this, haha... the first mistake might still be forgivable, but what about the other three?

anyway, all i can say now is -- hey, if you, certain person, are reading this, listen up -- until he hasn't learned his lesson, there is no more reason for me to stay. maybe it's about time i give the certain person a lesson about loss. haha what do you think? ;p